Growing Old Without A Fight.

So anyway. I've come to the realization that I've been acting like an old lady over the past 2 months. I've been spending every Friday night playing Words with Friends on my Ipod Touch, and I've been content with that. Well, that's gotta change.

I've made a list of things I'm going to have to do to remind myself that I'm only 30, and it's too early to throw in the towel.

1) Wear a shoe that I know will make my feet hurt at least once a week.  I used to wear 4 and 5 inch heels everyday. I mean every single day.  I used to actually believe flats made my feet hurt worse than heels.  Now, I only wear heels like once a month. That's quite sad because I love heels.  I literally used to become aroused by a great looking 5 inch heel. I knew my feet would be burning by the end of the night, but I didn't care.  I was willing to make that sacrifice for the sake of looking fly.  These days I've got to be going to an event to put on a pair of heels.  Sigh.

2) Wear a thong at least once a week.  Look, I'm not out here with panty lines all over the place, but I used to wear thongs everyday just because.  Now, it's got to be a reason for the thong. I'm all about comfort these days. I'm not in granny panties yet, but I'm just a stone's throw away. I have an abundance of Hanes boy shorts.  30 is too young to be dressing for comfort. It just is.

3) Wear a short skirt or dress when it's cold.   When I was younger, I didn't care if it was 30 degrees outside, I was wearing the cute dress.  I really ain't with that shit these days.  If it's cold outside my wardrobe reflects as much.  I know to most people that just seems like the smart thing to do, but when you're young, you don't always care about doing the smart thing. We've all stood outside in freezing temperatures, waiting to get into a party dressed like a skank. I'm going to do that again just for fun.

Okay, so it was a short list comprised of silly things, but I really am going to do things to maintain my youth. I've been seeing a lot of pics of women who are around my age who look like they're twice my age. I do not want that to be me.  I also don't want to adopt the habits of old people.  There's no justifiable reason for me to stay home every Friday night simply because I don't feel like getting dressed.  I know growing old is inevitable, but I'm not going to do it without a fight.

Been A While

So anyway. I don't have a good excuse for not updating this blog. I never really do. I have gone through a huge transition in life, but even that's no excuse. It's actually something I should have written about.  I'll give you the Cliff's Notes version.  I no longer have  a full time job, so this is a great opportunity for me to work on a few things I've been neglecting. I have an abundance of free time now, so I've gotta use it to my advantage. I've never had great focus, but at this point, I don't really have a choice. I've gotta figure out my next move. Wish me luck!

Self Help: Fear

Sometimes fear is tricky|will have you; put yourself in a circumstance to fail, then make you weep over it in total denial of the part you have played. Just say you didn't want to succeed, that you were afraid to try, that you needed something/someone to blame; Admit that when you look in the mirror, you don't have faith in the reflection. The mirror won't break from the broke inside.~Louise Hammonds

This one doesn't need my interpretation.

Self Help: There are too many colors to choose the blues

There are too many colors to choose the blues~Louise Hammonds

So anyway. It dawned on me the other day that I need to self help. There are things that need changing and I'm the only person who can change them. I'm sure you can relate, so I encourage you to join me. 

I'm going to post a quote, then tell you what I think it means, or how it relates to my life. You may interpret it differently. That's cool, feel free to share your interpretation in the comments, or via email.

This one is pretty simple to me. Stop CHOOSING to be involved in shit that isn't good for you.. It's simple enough, and if we work really hard, it's easy to do. A lot of us are carrying around dead weight, personally and professionally. Let's lighten the load. Get rid of the people in your life who bring you negativity. Everyone you align yourself with should be down for you. If you get an inkling that someone isn't fully in your corner, cut them off. Save me the "I need my haters as motivators." bullshit. Keep those people at a distance. It's fine for you to be aware that they are there, but don't invite them into your everyday life. It's no secret that not everyone wants to see you succeed. That's fine, but the people who do want you to fail can't be in your inner circle. Stop beating yourself up about separating yourself from these assholes. There's not lifetime potential in every relationship. We're all grown ups, and we have to make tough decisions. Although it really shouldn't be tough to get rid of an asshole, but whatever.
Bottom line, make better choices.

Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number

So anyway. You know how you're always seeing older dudes dating younger women and you wonder why on earth one would possibly be with the other. Well, something I've realized over the years through my own dating/social life, and that of my friends, is that some of these old dudes don't need a girlfriend, they need a daughter. They need someone who genuinely believes they're smarter than they actually are, and they assume that any younger woman will fall into that category. Sorry fellas, but that's just not the case.  Quit trying to handle us just because you're five years or more our senior. (there are some noticeable differences in a five year gap) I'm not saying that you don't have some great little nuggets to share. I honestly do believe a lot of us get wiser with age. But, y'all take the shit way too far sometimes. Y'all make it seem like there's an age limit on stupidity, and you've surpassed it.  Somewhere along the way you all decided that because you're older, you must be smarter.  I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that's just not true. There is a  woman who will absolutely believe that bullshit, but she's not a woman you'd be able to date. She's your daughter. That little girl will be well into her teens before she realizes you're not the only smart man in the world. So that's like 15 good years of lording your infinite wisdom over a young lady. You should really, really look into having one if you don't already.
All of the things that are attractive about your old ass, become unattractive when you feel like every moment is a teaching moment. It gets even worse when you're completely fucking wrong.  Now, if you're accustomed to dating a giggling dummy (or a girl who has serious daddy issues), then by all means feel free to display how all knowing you are. But, if you run into a woman who's not a complete moron, don't insist on treating her like one. It's offensive and extremely insulting.  We all know the male ego needs to be stroked from time to time, and most of us are willing to do so. "Can you open this jar for me, please?" Don't turn around and treat us like one of your little minions after we've so graciously let you feel like we just wouldn't make it without you. Show a little gratitude!
Nah seriously, you should really think about having a daughter, because I can't fill that void.

Dating Without Discretion, Sorta

So me and one of my friends has this challenge going on in order to push ourselves to date guys we probably wouldn't normally date. We have to give our numbers to whomever asks for them, provided he has all of his teeth and he's under the age of 60. Really, those are the only deal breakers. We have had a very, very rough go of things since agreeing to this silliness. The reason I'm bringing it up now is because I just gave my number to this dude less than 30 minutes ago and he's called me three times already. We had a five minute conversation prior to my doing this. He was nice enough, not really my "type" but the whole point of this experiment is to date different dudes, so whatever. Anyway, this is a huuuge red flag. Why have you called me three times in less than 30 minutes, sir? I mean, as awesome as my conversation is, this is a bit extreme. It's the middle of the work day and we both had places to be and things to do. This is how you talk yourself out of the game before it even starts, folks. I know it's hard to find that balance between showing enough interest and not being perceived as stalkerish, just know that calling someone three times in less than 30 minutes is more creepy than it is charming. It's like 99.99999%  creepy. (does the percent sign go before or after the number?) Anyway, overall this experiment has not gone well, but it has led to some pretty funny conversations. I'll let you know how it goes.

Sh*t Was All Good Just A Week Ago

Something crossed my mind this morning.  When you have a crush on someone, all of their jokes are funny and you think they're witty and smart. Do you ever notice how quickly that shit disappears as soon as you stop liking them? It makes you wonder if they were ever really that funny, witty and smart to begin with. Were you laughing at his jokes because he was funny, or because you thought he was cute?  It's really hard to tell. One thing is for sure, once you stop crushing on them, they're just annoying. Now you can't stand to hear their voice. All of a sudden what was once quirky now seems weird.  Instead of thinking he's sooooo smart, you now think he's just a pompous ass. In reality, he's probably all of those things. It just depends on who's judging him.