It's Dark In Here

Yeah, I know...... But hey, I wrote an e-book, and I'm working on another. A lot of the things I would should put on here are now going in there. Yay!  However, what I want to say now doesn't really fit with my ebook series, Things Women Should No (available for download pretty much everywhere you can download an ebook) It's just a thought I've had that's been bothering me.

So anyway.... Have you ever found yourself in a situation and you have no fucking idea how you're going to get out of it? Like, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel at all!?!? That's how I've been feeling for quite a while. I'm not really an overly optimistic, nor overly pessimistic person. I generally fall somewhere in between those two people. But recently, I've been a pessimistic person playing the role of an optimistic person, and while the masses are buying it, I know it's some bullshit. I have worries and fears that are kinda getting the best of me right now. I'm secretly living in my own personal little hell. Well, I guess it's not a secret anymore since I'm writing about it for my 7 loyal readers, but you get what I'm saying. I'm stuck right now, and if you've ever been stuck, then you know it's an awful feeling.

If you've ever been in this situation, how did you get out of it? Leave a comment or send an email. I'm very much open to suggestions. 

Tug of War

So anyway........ Do you ever feel like you're being pulled in too many different directions? That's how I feel right now concerning my Instagram account. (I bet you thought this post was going to be deep. Nope.) Aside from following a few of my friends, I follow a few fitness accounts, and plus sized fashionistas. 
The plus sized bloggers/fashionistas are all about loving and embracing your fullness, and that's definitely something I strongly believe in, considering I'm a 12-14. It's really important for women to have positive thoughts about themselves, because hey, we can't all look like Nia Long. That doesn't mean we can't be fabulous.
The fitness accounts I follow are mostly women who have gone from plus-sized to not plus sized. The reason these accounts interest me is because I'm on a journey to become healthier, and I need motivation and information about just how to do that. Everyone has a different routine and different goals, so it's good to get different perspectives.
I've never been a skinny chic, and I've never been morbidly obese. Just always somewhere in between. I don't lament the extra sexiness I carry around, because all things considered, I think I wear it fairly well. Thank God for height! My weight is spread vertically, as opposed to horizontally. I genuinely believe about 30lbs of my weight is directly in my head. Like literally, not figuratively.  I have a big head, but I digress.
I'm on a fitness journey because I don't want to die from something that can mostly be prevented through diet and exercise. Ain't nobody got time for diabetes and hypertension. I have to remember that I can't be fooled by the amount of self confidence I have, and forget what I'm trying to do. At the end of the day, it's not just about looking good in a cute outfit. We plus sized gals are proof that you can do that at any size. I do know that reality has affected me way more than I'd like to admit. I don't think you have to be sad or unhappy with who you are to want to get healthier. Getting older and watching your metabolism bottom out is very motivational. That's where I am now.
It's not that we plus sized gals just sit around eating whatever the hell we want, and we don't care about being healthy. We work out too. I don't want this post to sound like I think all  plus sized girls are unhealthy. I just know that when I eat better, weight comes off. So that's what I'm expecting to happen as this journey progresses.
I'm just going to end this with a quote.

"I don't believe the word "healthy" means small-framed... it just means taking care of what one does in terms of body, mind and spirit; getting to a place where you aren't worried (especially about the body forsaking you bc of what you eat) ... to be healthy = to make conscious decisions of what you do to maintain your life here on this planet!"~ Louise Hammonds

Where Have You Been?

So, anyway. It's been a while, a long while, and I'm not going to apologize for that.  I can't really offer a concrete explanation as to why I've neglected this blog. All I can say is, shit happens. I've been through a lot over the past 20 months, but things are settling a little. Sorta. Believe it or not, I do miss blogging and I am going to carve out some time to do it again regularly. It's probably for the best that I didn't blog about my single gal trials and tribulations over the past few months.  I might have sounded like a lunatic.  Although I haven't written here consistently over the inception of this blog the past year or so, I have been  writing.  I've written a fun little ebook for single gals. It should be ready for purchase before the end of 2013. I'll keep you posted.  In the meantime, it's time to get back to enjoying life in Atlanta, since it's obvious I'm going to be here. I look forward to talking at you again soon.

Who Deserves a Second Chance?

So, anyway.......
How do you know if an ex deserves a second chance? I know a lot of people who have gone onto marry a person with whom they had at least one break-up. I know it can work, I just don't know what the determining factors should be.  I've never really been one to go back to an ex.  I'm cold and heartless, I suppose.....  Once I'm done, I'm done.  But, lately I've been a little curious about a guy from my past. We didn't have a bad breakup, things just didn't work out. We're both older, and presumably wiser, but I'm still weary. I've never left a relationship thinking that I could have done more.  I try hard, because I don't want to have that, "he's the one that got away", moment. Well, I don't want that moment to come because I could have tried harder. Basically by the time a relationship has completely run its course with me, I know I've done all I can, or am willing to do to save it.  Anyway, feel free to email me with your thoughts.

Stuck on Stubborn

So anyway. I've been in a pissing match of sorts with someone who is really close to me. When we fall out, I usually wait a few days then get over it because I'm not one to hold grudges.  How-eva, this time is different.  I'm. Not. Wrong. I'm not going to just act like it's okay that our relationship is unbalanced.  He's going to have to acknowledge his shortcomings this time.  I refuse to be the bigger person.  I'm tired of being the one who fights the hardest to save relationships.  We haven't spoken to each other in almost two weeks. He's stubborn, and I'm stubborn.  As the days roll by, it's becoming easier for me to deal with our limited interaction.  That's not good for him.  The reason we're in this mess is because he's shown himself to be someone I can no longer depend on, even though I'm always there when he needs me.  So, since he's been failing me in that regard so regularly over the past year or so, it's safe to assume that I can get a long just fine with little to no interaction.

Don't Kidnap and Assault Your Ex

Yeah, I know. So anyway.  While I was browsing the internet today, I came across this little gem from Yahoo! It's video of a high school basketball recruit collapsing in court after a judge sentenced him to three years in prison for kidnapping and assaulting his ex-girlfriend.  I had no sympathy for him because I saw that he plead guilty, meaning he admitted to doing these things. I hadn't even seen the tape of the assault at the time I made the decision that 3 years was a fair, if not light sentence considering the crime. I've been having a Facebook argument all day with people who think "it was too harsh of a sentence for a first offense." The question I have in response to those who say that, "How many times should you be able to kidnap and assault a person before you go to prison?" I still haven't gotten a definitive answer. All I know is once isn't enough. After going back and forth with people who felt like this little knucklehead had been unjustly punished, someone posted the video of the assault.   Any sympathy I might have been able to muster up for him will never see the light of day.  Was that the most egregious beating I've ever seen on video? Nope, not even close. But, it was bad. She was justifiably terrified and he seemed invigorated by that. This young man went to her apartment, and beat the hell out of her. Think about that. Think about walking into your apartment building and being attacked by someone who's twice your size. Now, I'm not one to arbitrarily throw out accusations, but I'm gonna assume this isn't the first time he's hit her.  The reason I assume this is because he felt comfortable enough to do that shit in public. It didn't look to me, like he was just winging it. I could be wrong though.  Anyway, this whole case has me annoyed. We have to raise our standards and stop feeling bad for people who bring strife unto themselves.  People have been throwing a pity party for this dude just because he had the potential to go play D1 basketball.  He knew better than any of his defenders what was at stake, but he couldn't control himself.  The boy clearly needs help, and I sincerely hope he gets it. But, forgive me if I don't feel sorry that he's going to prison for 3 years.  Of all the crimes I want a judge to be lenient about, kidnapping and assault are not among them.
In the words of Huey Freeman, "Every famous nigga that gets arrested is not Nelson Mandela."
Buddy will be no more than 22 when he gets out of prison.  He'll be able to turn his life around, and I sincerely hope he does.

Bras: Beauty vs. Functionality

So anyway. Let's talk about bra shopping, and what a daunting task it can be. Maybe it's just daunting for me because I'm working with DD's. I don't know, but I have issues.  There's nothing I hate more than an ill fitting bra. Ladies, if you're walking around and it looks like you have 4 breasts, you need a better bra. Please go to the nearest department store, or Victoria's Secret and get fitted. We all know bras can be expensive, especially if you have big breasts, so you need to have a good one. But if you can't afford a good one and all else fails, buy a bra that's a little too big, as opposed to one that's too small. That's just a basic garment buying rule.
I realized as I was shopping that all of my bras are basic and boring. They're all either black, white or nude. It's not that I don't like pretty colors or lace, but wearing bras like that can be difficult. I hate seeing the print of a bra through a shirt. If that's the look you're going for, then that's cool. But, it's not for me. I tend to stay away from the flashy prints because some of my clothing are made with very thin material. I refuse to let a bra ruin my outfit. Another issue I have with the pretty, lacy bras is they lack adequate support. My DD's are real heavy, and they need support. They're not going to sit up all pretty on their own, and I've found that sheer lace bras just don't cut it. There is room in my life for sexy lingerie, but not when I'm outside the house. Feel me?
Oh, one more thing. I'm noticing a lot of companies are making these minimizing bras, and they're dominating the stores.  Um, I don't want to minimize my girls. I happen to think they're lovely. I just want a bra that will support them, and perhaps give them a little boost. I certainly don't want a bra that's going to smush them. Where's the fun in that?