Sunday, April 3, 2011
Alright, I'm not going to sugar coat it. I have not been a very good person lately. It's not that I've been a blatant asshole, but I have been an asshole in the most discreet ways. I'm not going to sit here and try to blame any of my behavior on anyone other than me. Every decision I've made recently was made with a sound mind. I knew better, and I still did certain things. I think my biggest issue is I knew I'd find myself writing this post if I did any of the things I've done, yet I did them anyway. Seriously, this post all but wrote itself. I know me better than anyone (obviously) so I know there are certain things that I'm going to beat myself up over. I've recently done a couple of those things. So, as I sit here having a pity party, I've decided I need to do another cleanse. I am not a bad person, I just do questionable things sometimes. Now, it's time to atone for some of the wrong I've done. Over the next 21 days I'm going to Fast. I'll only allow myself to eat fruits, vegetables and water. I love wine, and bread, and coke, and meat and all the other shit most folks love, so I know this is going to be a challenge. Right now I only eat vegetables because I should, not because I want to, so please know this will not be an easy feat. I'll use these days to reflect and just take a long hard look at my life and try to change the things I don't like about myself. I'm going to do my best to constantly remind myself that temporary joy can bring long lasting regret. Wish me luck.