Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Trust Your Gut

Ladies, you know why men treat us like we're stupid? Because too many of us either are stupid, or we let them believe we're stupid for a few weeks too many.  Spending any amount of time convincing yourself that what you know to be true really isn't true, is a waste of time.  And don't expect the men to do you any favors. You don't need that last bit of confirmation. You already know when some bullshit is being thrown your way. Let's stop acting like we don't. We all have intuition and we spend way too much time trying to quiet that little nagging voice that's in the back of our heads, or in the pit of our stomachs. I'm not sure where yours lies, but I know it's there. These men will try to insult your intelligence in ways that will actually offend you. However, if you let them think you were stupid for an extended amount of time, you have no one to blame but yourself. Let's work on this, ladies.

We also need to learn that it's okay to be upset, and it's okay to tell the person you're upset with that you're upset. Why do we feel the need to keep that shit bottled in? We walk around pretending not to care, when we know we care. You're never going to get to go back and be not upset, so you (we) might as well address shit when it comes up.

Shortly after I started writing this, I had to run out to meet a friend and her boyfriend for dinner. We had a great time and it was very cathartic!  We actually talked a lot about "likelihood"  I realized that it's a great way to analyze situations when you're not 100% sure. Sometimes you have to take how you feel about something completely out of the equation and just think about the other person involved. If you know someone well enough, then you know the "likelihood" of them doing certain things.  I'm such a "benefit of doubt" kinda gal. (this goes back to not trusting intuition) but sometimes, shit just doesn't make sense and it's okay to acknowledge that immediately.  Every situation doesn't need to be broken down like it's a calculus problem.  Sometimes, hell most of the time shit is exactly what it looks like. Our only problem is acceptance. Ladies, let's work on this. 

Monday, September 26, 2011

Can I Be A Bitch?

Have you ever wanted to be mean to someone and you just couldn't do it?  I'm in that position right now. Believe it or not, it's just not in my nature to be mean to people, even when they deserve it. I've never had a bad break up or anything. And even if I'm beefing with someone, it's usually done in a very civilized manner.  I don't have many enemies (that I'm aware of) I'm not saying everyone likes me, but I don't get into nasty confrontations with people. I can usually get my point across without being all belligerent. I say what I have to say, listen to what they have to say, and then go on living my life. I'm sure this situation will play out like all of the others, but I have given some serious consideration to being a bitch. I'll let you know what happens.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

How'd I Let This Happen

Yesterday I had a brilliant idea to take a road trip to see a football game. I couldn't decide whether I wanted to stay overnight or just do a day trip. That's really the only thing I was pondering. I'd already made up my mind to pay for the ticket. I'd made up my mind that I was going alone. And, I'd made up my mind that I needed to get away from Atlanta.
Fast forward to this morning and I'm no longer taking this trip. Why? Because a friend called me and told me she needed to come to Atlanta because she needed to talk to me. I have no idea what she needs to talk about. I assume it's something serious because she wants to do it face to face. Without hesitation I scrapped my plan to go out of town. Why? Because I have this habit of putting other people's needs before my own.   Somehow, I've made her need more important than my own. And hey, maybe it is, but maybe it isn't. In the last post I talked about managing my mental health better and this trip was about my mental health. It hasn't even been a week and I've already given up on me. *rolls eyes*  I actually might still take this trip. It's really bothering me that I canceled it. I'm sure whatever she needs to talk about will still be an issue when I get back. Maybe she can come next weekend, or maybe we can Skype about it. I don't know. I've always dreaded the idea of not being there when someone really, really needs me. I'm just not sure if this is that kind of situation. I guess the question I should ask is "how does whatever she needs to talk about affect me?" It probably doesn't, which means it's her crisis.
What's a gal to do?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Is Your Mental Health Important to You?

How serious do you take your mental health? Take a second and think about it? I don't think we take our mental health seriously enough. I am right in the middle of the absolute breakdown of one of my friends and it's awful. Did I see it coming? Somewhat, but it's harder to deal with than I expected.
We all have a breaking point. That point doesn't have to end with hospitalization and a straight jacket, but there's a moment when everything just explodes.  Most of the time, you can cry by yourself and a few hours later you're good again. But, sometimes crying just isn't enough.  I don't ever want to get to the point where a good long cry by myself won't make my internal stress meter restart. For the first time in a long time, I'm really worried. I normally manage my stress pretty well. My friends laugh at me because I take random "mental health" days off of work.  I know when I need a break. I also know that if I don't take that break, the office manager might find herself looking at my hand print in the mirror the next morning.  That won't be good for anyone.
I feel like we've all forgotten how to take a moment and just be. Vacations cost a lot of money, so most of us are lucky to get one every couple of years. We've gotta find some other ways to get away from the things that cause us stress. Or we at least need to learn to manage our stress better.  Tonight my mother told me I need to learn to not care so much. I told her that I just can't not care because that's not who I am. She told me I'd better figure out how to make it happen. She's right. I'm stressed, not because of anything concerning me, but because of the things concerning the people around me. I'm not saying I don't have any problems, because lord knows I do. But luckily the people in my life are so fucked up that I don't have time to focus on them.
Seriously, my focus is all out of whack.  I have a million things I'm working on and I can't dedicate the appropriate amount of time to any of them because I'm constantly having to be there for (insert random person's crisis) It's getting to be too much. I either need to change the people around me, or change the people around me. It's going to be hard, but I've gotta do something. I'll start with a good, long cry by myself, and see if that helps.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Internet Stalking is Underrated

So you know how everyone feels all crazy when they Facebook or Twitter stalk someone?  Stop it!  Don't feel bad about that shit. It's the internet and your privacy is very limited on the internet, especially social networking sites.  Facebook is super creepy these days on its own.  The face recognition when it comes to tagging pics is one of the many reasons I deactivated my account for a little while. Anyway, I'm going to focus on Twitter stalking, which served a great purpose for me recently. Sometimes people aren't very forthcoming with the truth, so you have to find creative ways of getting the answers you want since they won't just tell you. It starts with a hunch, then you have to just let your instincts carry you. If you're not familiar with Twitter, it's basically people sharing the random thoughts they would have kept to themselves before, with the people who follow them.  You also get to see the random thoughts from the people you follow, and the people they follow when they ReTweet them. Okay this crash course is taking too long. Let me just get to the point of this post. I needed some answers concerning a particular person, so I Twitter stalked him and his timeline was very, very revealing.  It gave me all the answers I needed. Answers he had the opportunity to give me, but chose not to. I actually had to stalk one of the people he follows as well, to really get the confirmation I needed it.  My friends didn't think it was a good idea, but I think it was a great idea and I accomplished what I needed to accomplish.  I now know what I need to know and no one got hurt in the process.  The bottom line is, no one knows when you're internet stalking them, so don't feel bad about it. Do what you've gotta do to get the answers you need to get. I'm 100% sure this will not be the last time I Twitter stalk someone.  You've all been warned.  I'm watching you. :)

Hard Work Pays Off

Earlier this week a friend of mine got some absolutely wonderful news about a job. I was so happy for her that day, like seriously happy. I couldn't have been happier if it were a job for me. It was actually a great reminder that hard work does pay off. Sometimes when you're working toward your goals, it seems as if you're running in circles and you're never going to get there. But, if you work hard enough, and surround yourself with the right people, opportunities will eventually present themselves.  It might be something completely different than what you were working toward, but if it's a great opportunity, you have to give it a shot.  I'll leave you with a great quote I saw the other day.

You will spend your life in one of two pain zones: The Pain of Discipline or the Pain of Regret. If you choose discipline, recognize that the pain can go on for a while but there will be a positive outcome on the other side. Then ask yourself how long you will experience regret if you don’t change.
Put them on the scale. Discipline weighs ounces. Regret weighs a ton!
- Myers Barnes