Stuck on Stubborn

So anyway. I've been in a pissing match of sorts with someone who is really close to me. When we fall out, I usually wait a few days then get over it because I'm not one to hold grudges.  How-eva, this time is different.  I'm. Not. Wrong. I'm not going to just act like it's okay that our relationship is unbalanced.  He's going to have to acknowledge his shortcomings this time.  I refuse to be the bigger person.  I'm tired of being the one who fights the hardest to save relationships.  We haven't spoken to each other in almost two weeks. He's stubborn, and I'm stubborn.  As the days roll by, it's becoming easier for me to deal with our limited interaction.  That's not good for him.  The reason we're in this mess is because he's shown himself to be someone I can no longer depend on, even though I'm always there when he needs me.  So, since he's been failing me in that regard so regularly over the past year or so, it's safe to assume that I can get a long just fine with little to no interaction.

Don't Kidnap and Assault Your Ex

Yeah, I know. So anyway.  While I was browsing the internet today, I came across this little gem from Yahoo! It's video of a high school basketball recruit collapsing in court after a judge sentenced him to three years in prison for kidnapping and assaulting his ex-girlfriend.  I had no sympathy for him because I saw that he plead guilty, meaning he admitted to doing these things. I hadn't even seen the tape of the assault at the time I made the decision that 3 years was a fair, if not light sentence considering the crime. I've been having a Facebook argument all day with people who think "it was too harsh of a sentence for a first offense." The question I have in response to those who say that, "How many times should you be able to kidnap and assault a person before you go to prison?" I still haven't gotten a definitive answer. All I know is once isn't enough. After going back and forth with people who felt like this little knucklehead had been unjustly punished, someone posted the video of the assault.   Any sympathy I might have been able to muster up for him will never see the light of day.  Was that the most egregious beating I've ever seen on video? Nope, not even close. But, it was bad. She was justifiably terrified and he seemed invigorated by that. This young man went to her apartment, and beat the hell out of her. Think about that. Think about walking into your apartment building and being attacked by someone who's twice your size. Now, I'm not one to arbitrarily throw out accusations, but I'm gonna assume this isn't the first time he's hit her.  The reason I assume this is because he felt comfortable enough to do that shit in public. It didn't look to me, like he was just winging it. I could be wrong though.  Anyway, this whole case has me annoyed. We have to raise our standards and stop feeling bad for people who bring strife unto themselves.  People have been throwing a pity party for this dude just because he had the potential to go play D1 basketball.  He knew better than any of his defenders what was at stake, but he couldn't control himself.  The boy clearly needs help, and I sincerely hope he gets it. But, forgive me if I don't feel sorry that he's going to prison for 3 years.  Of all the crimes I want a judge to be lenient about, kidnapping and assault are not among them.
In the words of Huey Freeman, "Every famous nigga that gets arrested is not Nelson Mandela."
Buddy will be no more than 22 when he gets out of prison.  He'll be able to turn his life around, and I sincerely hope he does.

Bras: Beauty vs. Functionality

So anyway. Let's talk about bra shopping, and what a daunting task it can be. Maybe it's just daunting for me because I'm working with DD's. I don't know, but I have issues.  There's nothing I hate more than an ill fitting bra. Ladies, if you're walking around and it looks like you have 4 breasts, you need a better bra. Please go to the nearest department store, or Victoria's Secret and get fitted. We all know bras can be expensive, especially if you have big breasts, so you need to have a good one. But if you can't afford a good one and all else fails, buy a bra that's a little too big, as opposed to one that's too small. That's just a basic garment buying rule.
I realized as I was shopping that all of my bras are basic and boring. They're all either black, white or nude. It's not that I don't like pretty colors or lace, but wearing bras like that can be difficult. I hate seeing the print of a bra through a shirt. If that's the look you're going for, then that's cool. But, it's not for me. I tend to stay away from the flashy prints because some of my clothing are made with very thin material. I refuse to let a bra ruin my outfit. Another issue I have with the pretty, lacy bras is they lack adequate support. My DD's are real heavy, and they need support. They're not going to sit up all pretty on their own, and I've found that sheer lace bras just don't cut it. There is room in my life for sexy lingerie, but not when I'm outside the house. Feel me?
Oh, one more thing. I'm noticing a lot of companies are making these minimizing bras, and they're dominating the stores.  Um, I don't want to minimize my girls. I happen to think they're lovely. I just want a bra that will support them, and perhaps give them a little boost. I certainly don't want a bra that's going to smush them. Where's the fun in that?

5 Hour Adventure

So anyway.  Yeah, it's been a while. You know the drill. Shit happens.
The other day I was kinda, maybe supposed to meet this guy for lunch.  We had talked about it, but nothing was set in stone because he wasn't sure he was going to be able to leave the office. But according to him, he really really wanted to get together since I was going to be in his area.  So, I was visiting with my friend at her job, waiting for him to tell me if/when he was going to be able to leave the office. Time was flying by, and before I knew it, it was like 2:15 and I still hadn't heard from him. So, I text him and asked him if he was going to take a lunch. His response was, "he just couldn't get away." Now, we didn't have anything set in stone, so that response would have been fine had I not had to contact him to get it.  That annoyed me, but whatever. All wasn't lost because this other guy who I've been regularly talking to, happened to text me and ask me if I wanted to get lunch. We had a great time, so I'm actually glad the other dude couldn't make it. We hung out, had sushi, went to another spot for dessert; then went to another place for drinks.  It was the perfect little 5 hour adventure.
In regards to the other dude, he continually disappoints me. It's never his fault though. There are always circumstances that make him unable to complete tasks. You know, there's just never enough time.  Well, the only way he can keep disappointing me is if I allow him to. I think we all know what needs to happen here.

Until next time......

Lifelong Friendships

So anyway, this is going to be one of those posts where I just bitch incoherently about something that's been on my mind.  So, if you're looking for grammatical correctness and all that jive, look elsewhere.  Today is not the day.
I don't trust people who don't have at least one 10+ year friendship.  I just don't.  I have many close friends who I've known for right under 12, 15 or 20 years, and a couple who I've known for over 20 years. Or as my grandmother might say, "Since I was knee high to a junebug" I'm not talking about the kind of friendship, where you've just known someone for a long time.  I'm talking about the kind of friendship where if I need anything, they'd give it to me, and I'd do the same for them. These relationships are hard to come by, but I have several. I find it hard to trust a person who doesn't have at least one.  You mean to tell me no one from elementary, to middle, to high school, to college f*cks with you.  Why is that? I think it says a lot about the type of person you are, and I wouldn't want to align myself with you.  If you don't value your friendships, why the hell would you care about my other friendships? You might very well be doing shit to try to sabotage those other relationships.  After a while, it stops being a coincidence that you keep scheduling shit when other important events were already planned, then expecting someone to make a choice. You're not going to win like that. Clearly.  It may take a while for people to figure out how full of shit you are, but your lack of meaningful relationships tells me that they all find out, eventually.

Get Over Yourself, Lady

So anyway. Every time I'm online and there's a discussion about any woman's reaction to any situation, there's always another woman willing to bless us with a gem like ----> She doesn't have any self respect or dignity. That's a pretty big assumption to make about someone you don't really know.  I know that there are things that absolutely offend our sensibilities and we just can't see how someone could be so stupid. However, what we need to understand is that the world doesn't really revolve around us and our moral compass.  Just because someone doesn't share your morals, doesn't mean they're immoral. There's a lot of gray in this black and white utopia you think you live in. 

Suburgatory

So anyway. I'm in Suburgatory. It's a combination of the words suburban and purgatory (It's from a TV show on ABC) Yup, that's my life. My weekends are filled with soccer games, grocery shopping and other domestic shit that my 30 year old single self thought I'd be avoiding for a few more years.  I'm glad I came to Texas because I know my friend really needs my help, and I'm happy to lend a hand. But, this life isn't for me. I need movie screenings and other such random events that you have to get all fabulous to attend. Well, you don't have to, but it's encouraged.  There hasn't been a reason for me to put on a dress since I've been in Texas.I'm going to wear a dress to the next middle school basketball game I attend, just because.
And don't even get me started on the smoking in restaurants. If boredom doesn't kill me, secondhand smoke might. Look, I'm not judging you if you're a smoker. My Dad is a smoker, but he at least tries not to smoke around non-smokers.  I miss my family and friends, but the thing I miss most about Atlanta is its no smoking laws.
When I came here I wasn't sure how long this little adventure would last. I'm pretty sure I'll be leaving around May or June unless something really awesome happens.  In the meantime, I'm going to try to make the best of what's left of my time here. There are worse things in life than boredom, so I'll be fine.

Details Don't Really Matter

So anyway. Whitney Houston is dead and it's sad. I'm really, really tired of people saying some variation of "we shouldn't mourn the death of a drug addict." Where in the hell do people get off thinking we should only mourn the death of people who die in a way that we can all be proud of? Would it be okay to mourn her death if she had gotten hit by a bus? Would that be more honorable? I don't care if they would have found her with a crack pipe in her mouth, a needle in her vein and a glass of scotch in her hand. The fact that she's dead is sad. I'm sure those closest to her won't dwell on the specifics,. They're just going to mourn her death, and it's okay if those of us who didn't know her do the same.

Say Something!

So anyway. I feel like I'm always the bad news friend. I'm always the friend that has to have the tough conversations with other friends. No matter how many people feel the same way about a situation, I'm the only one who will actually say what we're all thinking and have discussed behind their back. I know honesty is supposedly encouraged, but we all know that ain't true. If it were, we'd be more honest with people. We're not always as honest as we need to be, because we don't always want people to be as honest as they need to be with us. Deny it all you want, but you know it's true. The truth is a tough pill to swallow sometimes.
Somehow I've still been able to maintain good relationships with people, but it really dawned on me that I'm always down for the awkward conversation. I think it's because I hate it when people are like, 'I knew that was going to happen, but I just didn't say anything." My advice to you is, SAY SOMETHING! I know the counter argument is "he/she isn't going to listen anyway" That may very well be true, but you need to say it anyway.  If you want to continue to think you're a good friend, then you need to have tough conversations with your friends.

The Crazies are Winning!

So anyway. Single gals, it's become apparent to me what we need to do if we want to snag a man. We've got to turn up the crazy. The crazies are winning by a lot. I'm talking about dribbling out the clock with a 22 point lead, winning. I know at least 5 men who are in relationships with crazy women. They've convinced themselves that the crazy they're putting up with is the same kind of crazy they'd get in any relationship. That's just not true. There are varying degrees of crazy, and the chicks who are mildly to extremely crazy stay booed up. Some of us have been going about this the wrong way. We're way too damn reasonable and the men are not really responding to that. They seem to want the chick who will flip the hell out on them in front of their friends and family, swing on them when she's upset, go out alone as much as she wants, but won't let him leave the house without her, check his email, text messages, Facebook messages and etc. All of this translates to love, I guess. I've never been able to play the role of the jealous, completely unreasonable chick, but it looks like I need to incorporate that into my personality.
I'm going to be a stone cold fool the next time I start dating someone. That shit leads to marriage! I'm going to embarrass the hell out of the next man I date in front of his Momma. That'll only make us closer. If that opportunity doesn't present itself early on, I've got to at least make him think I'm capable of doing so.
It's a new year, so it's time to try something different. Turn up the crazy!

Relocation Complete

So anyway. I've finally relocated! Again, I'm not sure if this relocation is temporary or permanent. I just know it was necessary.  I'm really excited to see what kind of impression Texas makes on me. I've been through Austin three times and I'm actually very intrigued by it, even though I'm sure the traffic is a monster during football season. I'm going to give it a few months and we'll see what happens.

Relocating

So anyway.  I've stated on this very blog, time and time again that I needed a change of scenery and I needed it to happen soon. The time has finally come for that change. I'll be relocating in less than two weeks! I'm not sure if this relocation is temporary or permanent. I'm going to give it about six months before I make a decision.
I'm super excited! My friends and family are giving me a hard time, but that's understandable. They're used to having me near.  It'll be a big adjustment for all of us, but it's necessary.

Whatever you've been putting off, get to it! There will never be a better time than right now.