Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Walk To The Birthday Celebration That Never Ends

So today as I'm standing in line at the store waiting to checkout, there's a handicap man with crutches a couple of spots ahead of me.  He's moving kind of slow and the woman behind me is really irritated with having to wait.  Ummmm, bitch if you don't wanna wait in long lines then your ass shouldn't be shopping four days before Christmas, but whatever.  Anyway, when I finally made my way out of the store I see him walking out trying to catch up with the lady he came with. She instructs him to go what would be about 10 steps for the average able bodied person and to wait for her there.  As I turned to walk to my car that was parked damn near at the end of the parking lot, I used those few seconds to promise myself that I'll walk more. We should be so thankful that we have the use of our legs, unfortunately most of us aren't.  Well, it's not that we're not thankful, we just take the small things for granted.  We drive to places that we can see from our apartment complex. We drive from one end of the shopping center to the other end if the stores are too far apart.  We drive around the mall for several minutes looking for a parking space, completely ignoring the fact that we're going to be walking from one end of the mall to the other anyway so walking a few extra feet in the parking lot won't matter.  We're just a lazy society as a whole.  I'm going to work really hard to change that as far as I'm concerned.  It can be done,it needs to be done, so it shall be done.

While I was out trying to finish my Mother's Christmas shopping for her, I started thinking about what all had transpired from the beginning of December until now. One of my friends turned 30 today, but this birthday has been celebrated like three times.  Once out of the country, then this past weekend and apparently today too. I went to the first one, and the second one purely due to luck, had no intentions of going to the third one. I honestly felt like since I went to the first celebration, (the one that cost like $700) I shouldn't be obligated to go to any of the others.   I've already given you one weekend of my month, that should be enough.  I initially wasn't going to be able to make the second celebration due to the fact that I had one of my oldest friends in town from the UK and he was going to be leaving later that night.  Well his flight got canceled, so we were able to go.  I'm glad we went because we really did have a good time.  She kept trying to make me feel guilty all week for not being able to attend, but it wasn't working.  I'm kinda stubborn and when I don't want to be affected by something, I don't allow myself to be affected by it.  That's definitely hard to do at times, but this wasn't one of those times.  I was actually very annoyed that she kept making these little comments about my not being there.  I mean shit, I spent more money on her birthday this year than I've spent on my own damn birthday in the past 5 years. I'm low maintenance and I don't feel like people should have to shell out a lot of money just to celebrate with me.  Anyway, I felt like she was being really selfish by trying to guilt trip me and telling me how much I was breaking her heart and etc. But, I thought about it today and I came to the conclusion that more than anything, she just wanted to feel special on her birthday.  What better way to feel special than to be surrounded by people who have decided they're going to do whatever you want to do on that day? Don't get me wrong, there really was a lot of self absorption involved, but overall she just wanted to feel loved.  I wish I had come to this conclusion earlier that way I wouldn't have been on the verge of blanking on her for the last two weeks.  Whatever.

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