Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Don't Say Yes, When No Will Do

Well, I'm 30 years old now. That means, a lot to me. I didn't have a great epiphany or anything leading up to it, and I don't feel any differently than I did a few days ago when I was 29. But, 30 is an important milestone for a lot of women. I can definitely say I am more comfortable being who I am right now than I've ever been in my life. That's an awesome feeling and it is the inspiration for today's post.
Over the weekend I went to Canada to celebrate my birthday.  I took this trip alone for many reasons. The number one being because I wanted my birthday to be completely about me.  I didn't want to have to consult with anyone about anything! I know a few people in Canada, so luckily I wasn't completely on my own for the weekend.  Overall it was a lovely trip. Toronto is a beautiful city, and if it didn't get so damn cold, I could totally see myself living there.  But, it does get cold, so there's a small chance in hell I'll be relocating there. But I digress.
On my last full day in Toronto I found myself in a peculiar situation. I don't really need to go into specifics to make my point. My message to you today is, if you don't want to be where you are, don't be where you are.
As adults, we all have choices and for the most part, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. If you're not comfortable enough to make tough decisions that may hurt someone's feelings, then you're doing adulthood wrong.  You're not going to please everyone all the time, so you might as well make peace with that. If someone invites you to go somewhere and you don't want to go, say no. There's nothing worse than being around someone who has agreed to be somewhere they'd clearly rather not be.  They check their phone and or watch every three minutes or so. You don't know if they have somewhere else they just have to be, or if they're just bored out of their mind. Either way, it's not a good feeling. It's annoying as hell, especially when you invite them to leave if they need to, and they decline, but their rude behavior persists. There are certain things you are obligated to do, but you should never feel obligated to go spend time with someone, other than like, your Granny. You either want to, or you don't. Unless you're a person who has a really good game face, don't say yes when no will do. Most people are smart enough to pick up on your discomfort and that has a way of being contagious. Now, we're all uncomfortable because you decided to go somewhere you didn't really want to go. Do us all a favor next time and just don't show up. It's way less offensive.
Everyone has their comfort zone, but it's more important to see how someone reacts when they're outside of that zone. You learn a lot about a person when they're in somewhat unfamiliar territory.
Anyway, I enjoyed my birthday trip. I had a few goals in mind and I accomplished them all. There were a few unexpected hurdles, but I got over them and that's all that really matters at the end of the day.

1 comment:

  1. Very good points. I enjoyed this post. My favorite excerpt: "Everyone has their comfort zone, but it's more important to see how someone reacts when they're outside of that zone. You learn a lot about a person when they're in somewhat unfamiliar territory."

    Also, I do know that a certain someone (ahem) once told me..."You should always do what you want to do" (I try to live by that mantra...thank you cc)

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