Age Ain't Nothin' But A Number

So anyway. You know how you're always seeing older dudes dating younger women and you wonder why on earth one would possibly be with the other. Well, something I've realized over the years through my own dating/social life, and that of my friends, is that some of these old dudes don't need a girlfriend, they need a daughter. They need someone who genuinely believes they're smarter than they actually are, and they assume that any younger woman will fall into that category. Sorry fellas, but that's just not the case.  Quit trying to handle us just because you're five years or more our senior. (there are some noticeable differences in a five year gap) I'm not saying that you don't have some great little nuggets to share. I honestly do believe a lot of us get wiser with age. But, y'all take the shit way too far sometimes. Y'all make it seem like there's an age limit on stupidity, and you've surpassed it.  Somewhere along the way you all decided that because you're older, you must be smarter.  I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but that's just not true. There is a  woman who will absolutely believe that bullshit, but she's not a woman you'd be able to date. She's your daughter. That little girl will be well into her teens before she realizes you're not the only smart man in the world. So that's like 15 good years of lording your infinite wisdom over a young lady. You should really, really look into having one if you don't already.
All of the things that are attractive about your old ass, become unattractive when you feel like every moment is a teaching moment. It gets even worse when you're completely fucking wrong.  Now, if you're accustomed to dating a giggling dummy (or a girl who has serious daddy issues), then by all means feel free to display how all knowing you are. But, if you run into a woman who's not a complete moron, don't insist on treating her like one. It's offensive and extremely insulting.  We all know the male ego needs to be stroked from time to time, and most of us are willing to do so. "Can you open this jar for me, please?" Don't turn around and treat us like one of your little minions after we've so graciously let you feel like we just wouldn't make it without you. Show a little gratitude!
Nah seriously, you should really think about having a daughter, because I can't fill that void.