Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Doing Me, Day 28: Really Dude?

Well, last night I ended my blog not knowing whether or not I was going to join my friends to go watch a movie that I had no interest in seeing.  The answer actually came to me soon after I posted that blog.  Prior to going to sleep I realized that I had inexplicably spent way too many minutes trying to talk myself into going to see that movie.  I actually talked to my best friend about it and he said, "You clearly don't want to see that movie, you've posted about it on your Facebook page and that's all you keep telling me. Sounds like your decision has already been made."  It was at that point that I decided to stop fighting myself and I said to hell with seeing the movie. 

Anyway, let me move on because I've just entertained a series of text messages that rubbed me the wrong way.  I'm not going to type them out word for word, but here's the gist of it: This young man whom I've only met once at a restaurant, only physically talked to once on the phone, only text messaged maybe once over the past two weeks, just asked if he could come to my place.  Prior to today I haven't seen nor heard a tale of this dude in well over a week, but I'm supposed to let him come to my house at 11:00 p.m.  *side eye* What are you smoking fool?  Aside from the fact that I don't know you, it's late and the only reason we're exchanging text messages is because I text you earlier to see how your weekend went.  Neither of us has given a genuine effort to get to know one another and we probably could at least be friends. We kinda hit it off the first time we met, and our only phone conversation was long and interesting enough. We both expressed a desire to get together and hang out, but since we never made any actual plans, nothing ever happened.  The point is, neither of us deemed the other person worthy enough to explore the possibility of a friendship.  Well, maybe that's kind of harsh. I've been busy, and given his line of work I assume he's been busy too, but if we were really interested then at least one of us would have made a phone call. I didn't not call him for any silly reason such as "he should pursue me" or whatever.  I honestly, just hadn't really thought about him.  I don't know what his reasoning was, and it doesn't much matter anyway.  The bottom line is neither of us tried.  I'm not sitting here trying to act holier than thou, like I'd never let a man come to my house all late, but in this instance it just wasn't happening. I have brothers and enough male friends to know better than to be appalled that he'd try to come through.   However, it was still annoying because practically speaking, it's rude as hell to ask someone to come to their house for the first time and it's damn near midnight.  Who does that?

On a lighter note, I talked to a friend who I have a phone conversation with maybe once per month and she said that she noticed a change in me.  She said I sound happier. That made me smile because I've really worked hard these past thirty days. I'm glad it's noticeable, because although I did it just for me, I still need a little confirmation that the things I think have gotten better are not just in my humble opinion. 

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