Sunday, November 14, 2010

What I Learned

Anytime you go through changes, those that are self induced or those that are thrust upon you, there's something to be learned.  When I started my thirty day cleanse I didn't really know what to expect during the process.  I knew why it needed to be done and I honestly thought the cleanse would be limited to just those reasons.  As it turns out, I discovered so many things about myself that were unrelated to the initial reason I began this process. As you know, I needed to balance two relationships that had gotten out of hand.  There wasn't anything crazy going on, but I had become so dependent on my Ex and my Homie that I just felt lost.  I realized one day that I was in these faux relationships and the only person whose life was being negatively impacted was mine.  I needed to take control of my happiness, and that's exactly what I did.

I now know that I don't NEED to talk to them everyday.  Prior to last month I honestly felt that since they're my friends and they make me happy, I needed to talk to them everyday to remain happy.   Well, I'm happy now and I haven't had constant communication with either of them. Don't misunderstand me, I didn't solve all of my problems in thirty days, but I'm happy with who I am.  When you all of a sudden have a lot of extra time on your hands, you can accomplish so much. The days didn't get longer, but I did begin to use the allotted hours in more effective ways. I began reading more, thinking more, and just spending more time with myself trying to figure out what makes me tick.  I even used that time to evaluate a few other friendships, and I found out that some things need to change with a few other people too. At the end of the day, it all starts with me.  I've got to do my part to make sure that I'm a better communicator and that I'm as good of a friend as I want people to be to me. If someone isn't holding up their end of the bargain then I need to be able to address that and deal with it accordingly.
There are things about myself that I'm making a genuine effort to change. I'm going to address problems as they arise. I'm going to be tactfully honest with people. I'm going to stop and think before I blank on someone if they make me mad. I'm not a hot head by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm really emotional and if you make me feel some kind of way, I let you know about it right then and there. I've gotta work on that. I want to be a better person and I'm the only one capable of making that happen.

Going forward I'd like to make this blog more interactive.  I know you guys and gals are reading because I see the stats on each post.  Now, I'd like you to open up and share some of your thoughts with me. Let's have some fun growing together. 

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