Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Doing Me, Day 14: Moment of Weakness

Last night I had a moment of weakness.  I called the Ex.  He's in a foreign country so it was really early over there, but I just needed to talk to him. I had a rough day yesterday and as I lay in bed, tears just started falling uncontrollably.  I really tried to fight the urge to call, but I just couldn't help myself. I knew he was just the person who could make me feel better or at the very least calm me down.  He did exactly what I needed him to do.  He sat on the phone and listened to me cry.  I suppose that means I need to add another day to my thirty days. Done.  I'm not going to make excuses.  The truth is I was sad and feeling so alone and I didn't want to feel that way.  He's kinda like a security blanket.  I'm still working toward not needing him to be that person, but hey it's process.  I can no longer make fun of my friend, although since she's completely abandoned the process and now talks to her beau everyday, I'm still in a better place than her. Small victory.
Then, this morning the Homie sent me a text. Since I'd already broken the rules, I sent him a response.  He said "miss you". I said, "miss you too".  I'm going to try to get back on track.  The mission is still the same. I just had a hiccup.


  1. Been there before, you'll get through it.
    If if it is with his shoulder to lean on.

  2. I know, I think I need to find someone else to lean on so that I can move on.