Thursday, October 14, 2010

Doing Me, Day 2.

Day 2 of "Doing Me"  was a decent day.  Aside from realizing I need to get my relationships in order, I also realized I need to get my (please forgive me for using this overused word) swagger back. I've just been going through the motions for months, but that needs to change.  I used to get up and get all cute for work even though no one aside from my coworkers was going to see me, but for some reason I just stopped doing that.  Actually, that's the exact reason I stopped.  No one was going to see me so why in the hell was I getting up early getting all jazzy for no reason? I've basically morphed into this person who only goes to work looking cute when I have somewhere to go afterward. 
I realized a long time ago that the way I present myself is directly attached to the type of day I'm going to have.  It's no coincidence that the days I was going somewhere were better days than the days I was just going home.  It probably sounds superficial, but when I look good, I feel a lot better about myself.  I like to think of myself as being pretty confident, but when I look good I feel really confident.  I've let something so simple to control get way out of control.  I've got to get back to being the girl who always looks jazzy. I went to work looking really cute today and  I wasn't going anywhere afterward.  It turned out to be a pretty good day. Consider me on rinse and repeat mode right now. I will be fabulous or close to it from now on.
A friend of mine is supposed to be going through this month long cleansing with me.  She's got her own issues right now and she needs to regain some control over her life as well.  Luckily for her she's only got one guy to contend with, but this one guy is her first, perhaps only real love.  While my ex is my first love too, there's little to no chance of us being together.  Her situation isn't completely hopeless other than the fact that he lacks the drive and or imagination to live life any differently than the way he's always known.  She's willing to try, he isn't. The problem is he still wants to be her friend and talk to her everyday.  That may work for some people, but it can't work in this situation.  It just can't.  I know she wants and deserves better and deep down she knows it too.  She's going to try to completely detach herself from the situation over the next month, but I'm a little skeptical about whether or not she can stick with it.  Hell, there's no guarantee I'll stick with it, but I think I'm a bit more stubborn than she is and when I'm completely committed to something I find a way to make it work. I'm going to try my best to make sure we both get through this and hopefully at the end of it we'll be better Single Gals.

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