Thursday, October 28, 2010

Doing Me, Days 15 and 16: Moving On

Day 15: I didn't get to blog yesterday because  time kinda got away from me.  The only thing of note that happened was I talked to one of my exes.  He's a real character. I don't mind talking to him, but sometimes I wonder if it's healthy for me to still be friends with my exes. Not that I want to have relationships that end so badly that we hate the sound of each other's name, but it may not be healthy for me to still have what can be defined as friendships with former lovers.  I've never had a really bad break up, therefore I'm constantly being reminded of my past due to a phone call, email, text message or some random communication.  I probably need to reach a point with some of these dudes where it's like, okay I don't hate you, but we're not going to talk anymore. 

Day 16:  My friend is totally, completely gone.  I mean head over heels there's no talking her out of this situation, gone.  I'm happy for her for as long as she's happy.  The problem is, I've seen and heard this before.  I really hope things turn out differently than they have before, because that's what she truly wants.  I have this other friend who celebrated a birthday today. She got 300 Facebook posts, 50 voicemails and yet something was missing. She didn't get a post, or email, or voicemail from the one person she really hoped to hear from.  It's really hard when you've spent so many years loving someone and one day it finally hits you that the love they once had for you has dissipated.  I've been there before and it's not a good feeling.  Maybe this slight will serve as a harsh wakeup call that it truly is time to let the past be the past.  No more rendezvous or random movie nights or anything of the sort. When someone has been a part of your life for so many years, sometimes it's hard to imagine going through days without them.  We sometimes feel that some kind of relationship is better than no relationship at all.  Day by day I am beginning to think that's not the case.  Some people just need to be cut out of your life all together so that you can move on. Now I need to sit back and take a long hard look at some of my relationships and do away with some of the dead weight.

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