Sunday, October 17, 2010

Doing Me, Day 4.

Well, we have an interesting development. The last time I talked to the Homie I was reassuring him that it's okay for him to have a girlfriend.  He's a ladies man to put it mildly, and he's young so he has been hell bent on not getting into another relationship. His biggest problem is that he does want a relationship, he just doesn't want the responsibility of a relationship. He doesn't want to be accountable to anyone................until now.  He recently told me that he had started kicking it with this girl he used to kick it with a long time ago from his hometown.  With a little prodding, it seems he has accepted the fact that it's okay to like someone enough to want to be in a relationship with them.  They are supposed to be coming to my city next weekend just to hang out.  He and I have a mutual friend with whom we are both extremely close that's how I found out about this trip.  He told him to relay the message to me.  I decided that in this thirty days I was going to have no direct contact with the Ex or the Homie so I'm not going to see him.  Would I like to see him? Of course, he's one of my best friends, but this is a process that I've committed to and I'm going to stick with it.
My friend who is supposed to be going through this with me had a moment of weakness today.  She responded to a text message from the guy who's pulling all of her strings.  I'm disappointed, but she says she's going to get back on track and that it was only one message.   I have no choice but to believe her at this point. I'm really in no position to judge her because hell, I haven't made it through the thirty days yet.  Who's to say I won't have a moment of weakness. There have been many instances in the past 4 days that I've wanted to call both of these guys and share some random story that I'd normally share with them, but luckily I didn't. Life would be so much easier if our friendship was just a friendship.  Sadly it is not. My friendship with both of these guys is very layered.  There's a lot of history and a lot of emotion involved and it does affect my day to day life. It has to stop.  While I don't want either friendship to end, my hope is that at the end of this journey our friendships will be very different.

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